Something dear to my heart is the Next Generation. And I don't mean Star Trek either. I mean our children, those who are our future.
If you look around you, you'll see that drugs, sex and violence are all huge influences in our children's life. Turn the TV on any given night and one of these three will be thrown into your face. Especially on the major networks.
I admit, there are several shows that I really enjoy watching that I wouldn't allow my children near me while I'm watching them. Even when they're 10, 11 or 12, they won't be watching them. Does that make me a bad mom because I don't want to expose my children to blood and gore? Sex and non-traditional relationships? Drugs, alcohol and tobacco? Some would say I am but I think I'm being a smart mom. One who makes choses that are the best for my family.
Last evening I recorded Skins on MTV. Wow, within 3 minutes of turning it on, I wanted to turn it off because the language was atrocious. It was like an insult on my ears. I didn't even know that you were ever allowed to use some of those words on TV, no matter what time of day it was. It's not a show that I care to ever watch again.
It is a show that is geared towards kids. Not really kids my boys' ages but older kids. Teenagers. I'm not naive, I know that the general American population of teenagers has a high rate of pre-marital sex. I also know that most of them learned at a very young age about sex and know more sexual innuendos than even I do. What worries me is that sex isn't special for so many kids. It's something to do. Most are aware of the consequences of pre-marital sex but many don't believe those consequences can happen to them.
I'm sure there are some that think, eh, if I get pregnant, maybe I can be on Teen Mom or 16 and Pregnant. Oh and don't forget those who are told it's your body, your choice. If you don't want the baby, get rid of it. Abortion is the easy way out. While it is your body and ultimately your choice, you need to remember that God, knew us even before we were conceived. Abortion may seem easy but the emotional consequences can wear on you for a lifetime. While abortions are also fairly safe, there is always the chance that you may one day no longer be able to have children. Like any other medical procedures there are side effects of abortion.
Pregnancy is not the only consequence of sexual activity. There are also STDs to worry about. With the amount of teens/adults having sex outside of a loving, committed relationship, its a wonder that STDs aren't more prevalent. Of course, they could be. I'm sure there are hundreds of thousands of undiagnosed cases out there being spread around because many are too embarrassed to be checked out.
I have to wonder if, we as parents are doing enough to stress the importance of waiting to have sex. Are we offering our kids options to help them prevent giving into their sexual desires? Are we talking to them at a young age about what is and is not acceptable? Do we leave the doors open for communication? Are we active in them choosing healthy, wholesome shows to watch?
It's sad to think that so many high schools out there are similar to the show Skins. It scares me to think that my children could be going to school in a high school similar to that one. Where sex is just something to do and it's a sin to be a virgin.
I also find it very offensive that so many shows out there, especially those on cable TV, are geared towards our teens and show that sex is ok that it's no big deal. I can tell you from experience that sex IS a big deal and there is nothing better than sex within a committed, loving marriage.
What can you do to help your children to wait? Wouldn't it be great that instead of teenage sex being the norm, waiting for sex would be?
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Sunday, January 2, 2011
A New Year's Resolution????
With the beginning of a new year comes the question 'What's your new year's resolution?'
Each year growing up, it was a tradition to make a resolution. Each year it seemed to be a tradition to break that resolution within the first month of the new year (usually within the first week).
The last several years I haven't made any or should I say none that I'm willing to say out loud for fear that I will break them within the first week or month and feeling like a failure because of it. So here we are again, at the beginning of a new year. Again this year I said I wasn't making a resolution though I surely had the same ones many others have had, including dieting, spending more time with my family, etc.
Today, our church sermon was on rekindling the fire and at the end of it was a great video (I wish I could link it here). The sermon spoke to my heart but the video itself really hit me. Let me give the synopsis of it:
There are two young ladies (they are strangers to each other), sitting up on a mountain looking at nature. The one said to the other that she spends a lot of time up there enjoying nature and learning as much as she could about this mountain/nature. She then asks the other lady if there was something that she 'addicted' to and she didn't really have an answer. The first lady gives her some suggestions and she said she was a Christian and the first girl said oh then you must be addicted to Jesus and learn as much as you can about him. To which the other girl responds not really. They go back and forth a bit and the second girl realizes that she really should spend more time in God's word and at church learning as much as she could about Jesus.
Oh how that hit home for me. I call myself a Christian but I have to admit I don't spend nearly as much time as I should learning about God and reading his word. I'm good with attending church and I make it a priority but I don't make it a priority to spend time in the word.
So I am breaking the trend on not making a new year's resolution by making one right now. I want to spend more time in God's word learning more about him.
I leave with this reminder from Revelations 3: 15-16: I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm--neither hot nor cold--I am about to spit you out of my mouth.
Each year growing up, it was a tradition to make a resolution. Each year it seemed to be a tradition to break that resolution within the first month of the new year (usually within the first week).
The last several years I haven't made any or should I say none that I'm willing to say out loud for fear that I will break them within the first week or month and feeling like a failure because of it. So here we are again, at the beginning of a new year. Again this year I said I wasn't making a resolution though I surely had the same ones many others have had, including dieting, spending more time with my family, etc.
Today, our church sermon was on rekindling the fire and at the end of it was a great video (I wish I could link it here). The sermon spoke to my heart but the video itself really hit me. Let me give the synopsis of it:
There are two young ladies (they are strangers to each other), sitting up on a mountain looking at nature. The one said to the other that she spends a lot of time up there enjoying nature and learning as much as she could about this mountain/nature. She then asks the other lady if there was something that she 'addicted' to and she didn't really have an answer. The first lady gives her some suggestions and she said she was a Christian and the first girl said oh then you must be addicted to Jesus and learn as much as you can about him. To which the other girl responds not really. They go back and forth a bit and the second girl realizes that she really should spend more time in God's word and at church learning as much as she could about Jesus.
Oh how that hit home for me. I call myself a Christian but I have to admit I don't spend nearly as much time as I should learning about God and reading his word. I'm good with attending church and I make it a priority but I don't make it a priority to spend time in the word.
So I am breaking the trend on not making a new year's resolution by making one right now. I want to spend more time in God's word learning more about him.
I leave with this reminder from Revelations 3: 15-16: I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm--neither hot nor cold--I am about to spit you out of my mouth.
2010 in review
2010, a year like no other.
It started out like many other years, both of us working, the kids getting older, but things changed in January.
On January 18th, my gram (my mom's mom died). She had suffered from cancer and sever Alzheimer's. It was sad but a blessing for her to go. She no longer had to suffer.
D's grandpa (his mom's dad) died on February 23. It was pretty sad but very expected. He had been dealing with colon cancer that moved to his lungs and then throughout his body in the end. He also suffered from Alzheimer's to the point where in the end it was a blessing to see him go.
Shortly before D's grandpa died, I got a BFP. It was pretty exciting since we had been trying for two years. My excitement did not last long. Three days after we buried D's grandpa, I miscarried. I knew it was happening but had held out a little hope that my numbers would go up and everything would be ok but it was not meant to be.
On Mother's Day my little sister told me she was expecting. It was a bit of a hit to me but I was so excited for her. We are currently waiting for the little one to decide she wants to meet everyone.
Not even a week later (May 14th), my cousin passed away and three days later my aunt passed away.
We had been hoping this was the last of funerals and viewings that we would have to attend but on October 16th, D's grandma (his dad's mom) went to be with her husband.
2010 also brought an interesting twist to our life in September. Not only did our children both start school but D's manager at the store also took a leave of absence to get treatment for cancer. Shortly after he went out, the other manager in the store was arrested for possession of child pornography. My husband was the only manager in the store but thankfully he had two great key holders who helped out as much as they cold.
Not long after he became the only manager we got a phone call just as we were getting ready for bed from the alarm company. It was ironic (or maybe it was God-ronic) that earlier that evening we had requested prayer in our Bible Study for D since he was the only one in the store and then we get an alarm call. I knew from the moment he left that this was not a normal alarm call. D also later shared with me he had a feeling on the way there that this was not just a regular alarm call. It was something more serious. Sure enough, he arrived to two cop cars already there and several more on their way. Inside the store, a robber helped himself to numerous pieces of jewelry not caring that the alarm was going off and that there were cops waiting outside. Things didn't end very well for him. Shortly after being cuffed, he passed away. 13 hours after he went to answer the alarm call, D was finally able to come home and get some much needed rest.
The rest of 2010 was pretty quiet and calm despite the first 10 months being a bit dramatic.
When I look back on the year, I see many sad things but I also see that we had many great moments as a family. Many great moments as a couple. We ended the year with a better appreciation for the life that we were given, treasuring each moment that we had. We made many new friends in 2010 and enjoyed some great times with them. D and I have drawn closer together and closer to God.
I now look forward to what 2011 will bring us.
It started out like many other years, both of us working, the kids getting older, but things changed in January.
On January 18th, my gram (my mom's mom died). She had suffered from cancer and sever Alzheimer's. It was sad but a blessing for her to go. She no longer had to suffer.
D's grandpa (his mom's dad) died on February 23. It was pretty sad but very expected. He had been dealing with colon cancer that moved to his lungs and then throughout his body in the end. He also suffered from Alzheimer's to the point where in the end it was a blessing to see him go.
Shortly before D's grandpa died, I got a BFP. It was pretty exciting since we had been trying for two years. My excitement did not last long. Three days after we buried D's grandpa, I miscarried. I knew it was happening but had held out a little hope that my numbers would go up and everything would be ok but it was not meant to be.
On Mother's Day my little sister told me she was expecting. It was a bit of a hit to me but I was so excited for her. We are currently waiting for the little one to decide she wants to meet everyone.
Not even a week later (May 14th), my cousin passed away and three days later my aunt passed away.
We had been hoping this was the last of funerals and viewings that we would have to attend but on October 16th, D's grandma (his dad's mom) went to be with her husband.
2010 also brought an interesting twist to our life in September. Not only did our children both start school but D's manager at the store also took a leave of absence to get treatment for cancer. Shortly after he went out, the other manager in the store was arrested for possession of child pornography. My husband was the only manager in the store but thankfully he had two great key holders who helped out as much as they cold.
Not long after he became the only manager we got a phone call just as we were getting ready for bed from the alarm company. It was ironic (or maybe it was God-ronic) that earlier that evening we had requested prayer in our Bible Study for D since he was the only one in the store and then we get an alarm call. I knew from the moment he left that this was not a normal alarm call. D also later shared with me he had a feeling on the way there that this was not just a regular alarm call. It was something more serious. Sure enough, he arrived to two cop cars already there and several more on their way. Inside the store, a robber helped himself to numerous pieces of jewelry not caring that the alarm was going off and that there were cops waiting outside. Things didn't end very well for him. Shortly after being cuffed, he passed away. 13 hours after he went to answer the alarm call, D was finally able to come home and get some much needed rest.
The rest of 2010 was pretty quiet and calm despite the first 10 months being a bit dramatic.
When I look back on the year, I see many sad things but I also see that we had many great moments as a family. Many great moments as a couple. We ended the year with a better appreciation for the life that we were given, treasuring each moment that we had. We made many new friends in 2010 and enjoyed some great times with them. D and I have drawn closer together and closer to God.
I now look forward to what 2011 will bring us.
Friday, December 17, 2010
One week from tomorrow
I can hardly believe that in just one week, we will be celebrating Christmas. The most magical time of year for me.
In only one week my kids will be opening their gifts and we'll be rejoicing that it is Jesus' birthday. This year we've even decided to bake a cake. Chocolate with peanut butter icing is my guess for flavor. Maybe we'll even color the icing again (did you know you can color peanut butter icing? It's true, you can.). What color icing do you think Jesus would want?
Tomorrow we are starting the 7 gifts of the Nativity (which reminds me, where did I put that again?). A friend of mine told me about it and it looks like so much fun. Tomorrow also starts the Christmas giving season for us. We are going to D's cousin's for our first gift exchange. I'm so excited and I won't even be receiving a gift. I'm excited about giving gifts and seeing the joy in the eyes of those receiving. I'm also excited about seeing the joy in my children's eyes when they open gifts.
I am still far from being completely ready for Christmas. I still need to wrap presents and bake but you know if those things don't get done today or tomorrow it's ok.
I heard this sound a couple week ago and fell in love unfortunately I didn't know the name of it but when I heard it again today I found it on Youtube.
I hope you'll enjoy it as much as I did.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Future children or no future children....
Today I laid it on the alter.
I've been holding onto this want, this need, this yearning for another child with two hands. I try to deceive myself and tell myself that it really doesn't bother me that yet again, it hasn't happened but in reality I know I KNOW that it really does. I know that I've been holding onto. I try to say here God it's yours but yet I still keep a finger, sometimes a hand and sometimes even TWO hands holding tight to it.
So today, I gave it to God. I know that it will be easy to slip, easy for me to grab hold again but I don't want to. I want to be free of this pain, this hurt, this want, this need, this yearning. I want to know, to have faith, that God is in control and he know's what he is doing.
I look back on my loss, just a mere 9 months ago and know that it was for the best. That I have learned from it, that I have will continue to learn from it and best of all I'm helping other moms who are now or recently experiencing their own loss.
I'm going to Praise God in This Storm as I hand it all over to him.
I've been holding onto this want, this need, this yearning for another child with two hands. I try to deceive myself and tell myself that it really doesn't bother me that yet again, it hasn't happened but in reality I know I KNOW that it really does. I know that I've been holding onto. I try to say here God it's yours but yet I still keep a finger, sometimes a hand and sometimes even TWO hands holding tight to it.
So today, I gave it to God. I know that it will be easy to slip, easy for me to grab hold again but I don't want to. I want to be free of this pain, this hurt, this want, this need, this yearning. I want to know, to have faith, that God is in control and he know's what he is doing.
I look back on my loss, just a mere 9 months ago and know that it was for the best. That I have learned from it, that I have will continue to learn from it and best of all I'm helping other moms who are now or recently experiencing their own loss.
I'm going to Praise God in This Storm as I hand it all over to him.
Friday, December 3, 2010
22 years ago
It was 22 years ago that you left us but boy does it seem like only yesterday.
Your smile, your half finger, your cooking for us, holidays at your house are only a few of the things I miss about you. Oh how I wish the boys would have been able to meet you. What joy they would have brought you and what joy you would have brought them.
I remember that night that dad got the call so vividly. I remember knowing deep down that I wouldn't ever see you again. It was not a good feeling for a little girl to have. I remember waking up the next day, walking home and knowing that the horrible news would be coming from mom's lips. I still can't wait the movie 'Harry and Henderson's' because it was the one that we were watching that night when we got the call.
I remember choosing not to attend your funeral. I remember watching out my classroom window as they dug your grave. I remember this boy in my class who wondered who's grave they were digging and saying it was my Gram's and him not believing me until the tears started to flow, oh how did they flow that day. They are flowing now as I write this. You were such a special person, a beautiful women.
Gram, I love you so much and miss you!!! I treasure each time someone tells me I am like you. What a person to be like. Someone who loved her family tremendously.
Your smile, your half finger, your cooking for us, holidays at your house are only a few of the things I miss about you. Oh how I wish the boys would have been able to meet you. What joy they would have brought you and what joy you would have brought them.
I remember that night that dad got the call so vividly. I remember knowing deep down that I wouldn't ever see you again. It was not a good feeling for a little girl to have. I remember waking up the next day, walking home and knowing that the horrible news would be coming from mom's lips. I still can't wait the movie 'Harry and Henderson's' because it was the one that we were watching that night when we got the call.
I remember choosing not to attend your funeral. I remember watching out my classroom window as they dug your grave. I remember this boy in my class who wondered who's grave they were digging and saying it was my Gram's and him not believing me until the tears started to flow, oh how did they flow that day. They are flowing now as I write this. You were such a special person, a beautiful women.
Gram, I love you so much and miss you!!! I treasure each time someone tells me I am like you. What a person to be like. Someone who loved her family tremendously.
Gram, me and Aunt Kath
Thursday, December 2, 2010
When do you know your family is complete?
As you know by reading my profile, I am the mom of two boys. They are 5 and 7 years old. I love their age difference and love the bond they have from that age difference. It's not always an easy thing but it's perfect nonetheless.
What some of you may not know, something that I just don't put out there for everyone to know is I should be the mom of 4. I experienced a miscarriage with my first pregnancy in Jan of 2002. It was the most horrible experience I've ever had. It really changed who I am and who I wanted to be. It really helped me to draw close to God again.
I had another miscarriage in March of this year. I had just found out I was pregnant when I also started spotting. Two weeks later, it was over and I needed to pick up the pieces and move forward with my life. It was not easy to do and it still affects me to a point. We have been TTC again without really TTC. Let's put it this way we aren't preventing but we're not temping or OPKing or any of that.
I really thought for sure that I was PG this month but alas I'm not.
Several months ago, dh and I talked about how emotional I would get each month when I discovered I wasn't pregnant that month. How I would cry and get my hopes up. He knows how much I want to be, how much I want another child in our life and he does too but he was letting it up to me to decide where to go from here. So we decided (or I decided) we'd try for another couple of months and if nothing happened by the end of the year we were done for a while and I would go on BC.
Now we are down to our last month of trying and boy am I really hoping. December has always been a good month for us when it comes to conceiving. We found out with both boys on New Years Eve/Day so I am hoping.
However, I'm also doubting and wondering when do you know your family is complete? When do you know it's time to give up and stop trying? When is it time to throw in the towel and say forgetaboutit?
Also, how do you ensure that you are letting it all in God's hand? How do you stop worrying and wondering?
I'm trying to let it in God's hands. I'm trying to say, 'Here God it's yours' but I think I keep holding on. I keep saying, 'Sorry God, I can't fully let go and let you' How do I do that? How do I rely on God to make the perfect decision? How do I have complete faith that God knows what he is doing and he has my best interest in hand?
Dear God,
Today I give you my pain, my hurt, my disappointment. I give you the worry of never having another child. I give you the pain that I feel each month when I realize it's not my month. Help me to focus on new and bright things. Help me to focus on you. Give me something new and wonderful to focus on that will take my mind off of what I want and can't/don't have. Help me to forgetaboutit and not to be upset each month. Lord, if you want us to have another child that is ours, please allow it to happen. If you want us to adopt, please allow that to happen. Open new doors, close old doors and help me to move on starting today. God fill me with your promises. The promises that only you can fulfill. Thank you.
In your precious son's name.
Amen
What some of you may not know, something that I just don't put out there for everyone to know is I should be the mom of 4. I experienced a miscarriage with my first pregnancy in Jan of 2002. It was the most horrible experience I've ever had. It really changed who I am and who I wanted to be. It really helped me to draw close to God again.
I had another miscarriage in March of this year. I had just found out I was pregnant when I also started spotting. Two weeks later, it was over and I needed to pick up the pieces and move forward with my life. It was not easy to do and it still affects me to a point. We have been TTC again without really TTC. Let's put it this way we aren't preventing but we're not temping or OPKing or any of that.
I really thought for sure that I was PG this month but alas I'm not.
Several months ago, dh and I talked about how emotional I would get each month when I discovered I wasn't pregnant that month. How I would cry and get my hopes up. He knows how much I want to be, how much I want another child in our life and he does too but he was letting it up to me to decide where to go from here. So we decided (or I decided) we'd try for another couple of months and if nothing happened by the end of the year we were done for a while and I would go on BC.
Now we are down to our last month of trying and boy am I really hoping. December has always been a good month for us when it comes to conceiving. We found out with both boys on New Years Eve/Day so I am hoping.
However, I'm also doubting and wondering when do you know your family is complete? When do you know it's time to give up and stop trying? When is it time to throw in the towel and say forgetaboutit?
Also, how do you ensure that you are letting it all in God's hand? How do you stop worrying and wondering?
I'm trying to let it in God's hands. I'm trying to say, 'Here God it's yours' but I think I keep holding on. I keep saying, 'Sorry God, I can't fully let go and let you' How do I do that? How do I rely on God to make the perfect decision? How do I have complete faith that God knows what he is doing and he has my best interest in hand?
Dear God,
Today I give you my pain, my hurt, my disappointment. I give you the worry of never having another child. I give you the pain that I feel each month when I realize it's not my month. Help me to focus on new and bright things. Help me to focus on you. Give me something new and wonderful to focus on that will take my mind off of what I want and can't/don't have. Help me to forgetaboutit and not to be upset each month. Lord, if you want us to have another child that is ours, please allow it to happen. If you want us to adopt, please allow that to happen. Open new doors, close old doors and help me to move on starting today. God fill me with your promises. The promises that only you can fulfill. Thank you.
In your precious son's name.
Amen
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