It will be a year soon that I found out that I was pregnant again. After having tried for 2 years it seems like such a blessing. I was so excited and thrilled that we would welcome another baby into our family.
Then my worst fears came true, I started spotting...eventually losing our baby on March 4, 2010.
What a devastating to to have happened again. This was not our first loss but our second. We now have a .500 average and if we were playing ball that would be a great average but sadly we are not and that average just sucks!!!
It is said that 1 out of every 4 pregnancies are loss to miscarriage. That's a very horrible statistic and not one that I had ever wanted to be part of once let alone twice.
Several weeks after my miscarriage my role at work changed. One of our new groups that we had launched was the Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss group, a group that I happily took on as my 'baby'.
I feel blessed to be able to help other women get through the pain of losing something they wanted so badly. Something that was part of them. I truly believe God allowed me to suffer a miscarriage again because I needed to feel the raw pain that only comes from a miscarriage. It has helped me to help other moms.
Why we haven't been able to conceive again, I'm not sure but I know God has a reason and he holds my future. If only I knew what the future did hold.
I trust that God will get me through and will help me to find the peace that I need right now as I deal with possibly not ever getting pregnant again.
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