Schedules

I am known around my house for having a cranky temper, something I am not very proud of.  Something that I crave to change.  Something that I don't want my children to one day gain from me.

I work from home typically from 8-4 each day, except now that school has started, I need to pick up my kids so I work until 4:30 to ensure that I get all my hours in.  Some days, I work longer because I have a lot on my plate.  When I finish working, I typically get supper started, do dishes and ensure the kids homework is done, if they have any.  They typically come home from school, have  a snack and start working on their homework, if they have any.  They are then allowed to play upstairs in their playroom.  After dinner, we have outside time, if the weather is appropriate, then showers, dessert, reading time and finally bedtime at 8.

Things run really smoothly as long as we follow this 'schedule' fairly closely.  Unfortunately, when you have a husband who works various hours and has days off during the week, following a schedule doesn't always work. Also, needing to go to the store in the middle of the week, doesn't help with the schedule either.

Yesterday, the schedule got messed up and oy, I had a slight issue.  I had supper sitting out ready to go for hubby since he was off.  He just needed to start the grill and get it on before I got done working.  The boys both had homework, that needed done.  They both worked on homework and daddy decided to take them for a bike ride, which would have been great, but no one cleaned up the mess from homework and supper needed started.  We also had plans to go to my in laws after dinner and since it was a school night we needed to get going as soon as supper was over.  This didn't leave a lot of 'spare' time.  So I get done working and there is glitter, paper and toys everywhere, the kids are playing upstairs and my kitchen is a mess.

I need to break here and say, I love my husband dearly, I love what he does for us and I love that he helps out so much.  I appreciate everything he does, even though some times it may not seem like it.

I kind of lost it and started yelling and boy did it look ugly from the sidelines.

After careful thinking after my slight meltdown, it hit me.  If things aren't organized and on a schedule, I have a hard time focusing on the fun.  I never thought of myself as an organized person or a scheduler, but even tonight after we had to make a trip to the grocery store, I realize if I veer from the 'norm' or the schedule, I feel like I don't have control.  I can't focus and I lose it.

They say the first step is admitting there is an issue.  Now I need to find a way to deal with all this without losing my temper.  First stop, prayer.